hype.
You were here before. If the outreach still is not converting and cloud bills keep climbing while net margins shrink, it is time to find out exactly why. Start with our free diagnostic tools or book a 48h de-bloating audit.
200+ cold outreach campaigns and cloud architectures reviewed. The failure point is almost never effort. It is either copy fluff, high friction, or invisible backend token bleed.
| PROBLEM | DIAGNOSTIC / REMEDIATION | PRICE |
|---|---|---|
| Cold email not converting | Cold Email Roaster | Free |
| Vague or bloated website copy | B2B Bullshit Detector | Free |
| Campaign likely to fail before launch | Campaign Failure Predictor | Free |
| Cloud & LLM API Token Cost Hemorrhage | Micro-SaaS De-Bloating Toolkit | $297 |
| Deep Codebase & Infrastructure Audit (PR in 48h) | 48-Hour Codebase Audit & Direct PR | $1,497 |
| Full funnel copy diagnosis (Human) | Marketing Autopsy | $49 |
TOOLS FOR FOUNDERS
B2B Bullshit Detector
Paste any marketing copy. Get flagged on vague claims, hollow adjectives, and missing proof.
Run Diagnostic →Cold Email Roaster
Paste your cold outreach. Get a 0-100 Hype Score and spot the exact lines killing replies.
Roast Email →Campaign Failure Predictor
10 questions before you spend ad runway. Tells you what is already broken in your funnel.
Test Viability →B2B Homepage Roaster
Analyze your homepage value proposition, clarity index, and conversion friction.
Roast Homepage →DIAGNOSTIC & DE-BLOATING SERVICES
Micro-SaaS De-Bloating Toolkit
Self-serve semantic caching playbooks, token guards, and database query indexers to cut cloud overhead.
Get The Toolkit →48-Hour Codebase Audit & PR
We audit your repository, isolate cash leaks, and open a direct Pull Request in 48h. Min $3,000/yr savings guaranteed.
Apply For Audit →Marketing Autopsy
Full diagnostic of your B2B messaging architecture. What is broken and how to fix it in 48-72h.
Get The Autopsy →Outreach Overhaul
4-step custom sequence, prospect intelligence, and targeted ICP messaging built for you.
See Details →The tools, the guides, the autopsies of dead companies. You pay us for exactly one thing: a human rewriting your actual copy or opening a PR to stop your cloud bleed. No calls. No meetings. An async task is delivered.
Explore De-Bloating & Audits →